Locally Grown

Vegan Profiling: Enemies Of The Steak
2010/11/14, 1:01 pm
Filed under: Total Rubbish, Vegetarian Dining | Tags: , ,

Most of you have likely been invited to and attended an eating function such as a banquet or dinner party, but have you ever been at a Dining Event where one of THOSE people is hanging out? You know, the “oddball” Vegetarian or Vegan who was probably placed there by some higher power just to test everyone’s ability to tolerate those of the needy nature.  The people who invoke the cussing of the chef upon reading a BEO (Banquet Event Order) which states something like “one vegetarian option” or the manic Interweb-Search-Engine-ing of what the hell a Vegan or Vegetarian even eats (and how on Earth do you pronounce that…is it vay-gahn, vee-jun, V-gun?).  You may have even been in a public eating establishment and noticed the word “Vegan” has leaked its unholy recycled soy ink self all over a corner of the menu.  Is this what YOUR America is turning into?  A bunch of Hemp wearing, plant eating, bicycle riding annoyers of the Meat Eating Public?

"Put 'em on a boat and ship em to the Rain Forest, there's plenty of plants for them Damn Hippies to eat down there!"

The answer is YES

These natural fiber loving freaks of nature who choose to abstain from the Meat Loving Culture of your world are coming for you.  They are poised to take your jobs (at the local natural foods grocery), drive down property values (with their Natural Prairie Grass Lawns. “Don’t you people own a lawn mower?”), wreak havoc on the economy (“they are driving up corn and soy prices, dammit!”), ruin the landscape of your country (with evil bike lanes), and provide safety and shelter for stray or injured animals.  How dare these Plant Eaters defame the glory of the Meat which this great country was founded on!  The meat industry which has paved the roads with the blood of your enemies, the cows, pigs, and chickens who would otherwise run rampant and overpopulate the world leaving no room for humans to exist, creating a “Planet of the Livestock” situation which we CANNOT ALLOW TO HAPPEN.  THEY would allow this to happen, as Vegans are so overly concerned about plants and the so-called “Mother Earth” that they would fight for the extinction of humans just to save this planet.

To be continued…


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